Humanized
by Misura
Summary: Bakura contemplates the trouble of being himself, and not in love. [BakuraRyou]


Humanized

x

Warnings/notes: Bakura/Ryou, drabble-ish shortie, slightly weird, ooc?

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh.

written at 24th july 2005, by Misura

Note: other!Bakura is called 'Bakura' in here and addresses his host as 'Ryou', among other things, normal!Bakura is called 'Ryou' and addresses his other as 'yami'.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The problem, Bakura reflects, on an evening that might have been perfect -if it hadn't been for the fact that Ryou has locked himself in his room right now, refusing to come out, and that Bakura can't appear to him at will anymore, what with his having a physical body and all- isn't about his being an evil spirit.

Ryou may think that it's that, think that things would get better if Bakura'd just put some effort into doing good deeds, like cooking dinner without burning down the kitchen or helping old ladies cross the street without picking their pockets, but he's wrong. In fact, Ryou's wrong about nearly everything, since Ryou's just that kind of idiot that everyone likes, only in things about Bakura, he's wrong particularly often. Starting with the delusion that Ryou's in love with him.

The problem isn't that either though; Ryou staring at him with big, sad eyes that are begging him to be nice and pretend he loves Ryou back for a few hours, after which he can leave Ryou sleeping alone in his bed, smiling and hugging his pillow, isn't something he can't handle.

After all, he's got a body, and he's not like Kaiba: some asexual jerk who hates any kind of contact because one moment of weakness just might bring the walls he's built around himself crashing down. Bakura knows what he is, and he doesn't bother with walls or masks.

However, there's a big difference between being sensual and liking to touch soft skin and softer hair, and being in love. Ryou doesn't get that; Bakura sees it in his eyes, in the confusion that swirls in them on every morning after, when Bakura doesn't act any nicer or more caring towards him, and refuses to pass the salt during breakfast.

If he was truly evil, Bakura thinks, he wouldn't be putting up with Ryou. He'd have left, slamming the door behind him, after having eaten all of Ryou's favorite breakfast-cereals and feeding Ryou's homework to Ryou's disgusting little hamster.

Ryou'd have cried, wept, maybe contemplated suicide, in a non-serious kind of way, and eventually contented himself with eating his second-favorite breakfast-cereals, hurriedly redoing the most important assignments during breakfast and buying a new hamster. That'd be it, really; two months later, he'd probably have gotten all over it.

Bakura could have found someone more fun to torment, someone less of a weakling, and in the end, they'd both have been better off. A neat, clean, win-win solution.

Unfortunately, it can't work out that way.

Because, yes, Bakura is evil -he knows it, Ryou knows it, everyone who's been alone with him for two seconds knows it- and to think that that part of him can be erased by feeding him chocolate-sprinkled pancakes or by forcing him to learn how to use a vacuumcleaner is pure madness.

That's not the problem, no matter what anyone might think.

The real problem is that somehow, somewhen, Bakura has become less-than-entirely-evil. He hasn't become good, exactly -and he never will, either, no more than the sun will ever rise in the North or the Pharaoh will ever apologize to a mere peasant- only a tiny, tiny part of him isn't evil anymore.

A tiny, tiny part of him wants to do stupid, silly things, like bringing Ryou breakfast in bed, or surprising him by offering to clean the dishes without 'accidentally' smashing half of them. It makes Bakura feel uncomfortable, itching to do something really bad, to prove he's still evil, but in the end, he can't deny that it exists, and that it's this part of him that makes him stay with Ryou, stupid, sweet, innocent Ryou.

It's this part of him that makes staying with Ryou such a bad thing, for both of them.

It's this part of him that's the problem, because if it wasn't there, Ryou would be rid of him by now, a little worse for wear, perhaps, but not hiding in his room, sobbing.

OWARI


End file.
